Why You Hate Avocado Toast

Text your friends. Pew Research put their Ugg-clad foot down and said this is where a Millennial begins and ends.

If you’ve always wanted to be a Millennial, you win if you were: “…born between 1981 and 1996 (ages 22–37 in 2018)…”

“Anyone born between 1981 and 1996 (ages 22–37 in 2018) will be considered a millennial

“In order to keep the millennial generation analytically meaningful, and to begin looking at what might be unique about the next cohort, Pew Research Center will use 1996 as the last birth year for millennials for our future work,” Pew noted.

According to Pew, here’s the new lineup:

  • Silent generation (wasn’t this the Greatest generation??) — Born between 1928–1945, current ages 73–90

  • Boomers — Born between 1946–1964, current ages 54–72

  • Generation X — Born between 1965–80, current ages 38–53

  • Millennials — Born between 1981–96, current ages 22–37

  • Gen Z — Born 1997-??

According to Pew, here’s rationale:

“Most millennials were between the ages of 5 and 20 when the 9/11 terrorist attacks shook the nation, and many were old enough to comprehend the historical significance of that moment, while most post-millennials have little or no memory of the event,” Pew noted.

That election was the first where “the force of the youth vote became part of the political conversation and helped elect the first black president,” Pew said.

If the years alone aren’t enough for you, you also might be a Millennial if you:

  1. Love $14 avocado toast

  2. Are having a life crisis about how terrible the new Beyonce track is

  3. Are generally lazy and unmotivated in the workplace

  4. Still live at home with your parents

  5. Are reading this on your phone, like everything else you do besides sleep

  6. Have #fomo

  7. Are destroying the traditional model of retail…and restaurants…and banking.

  8. Run a side hustle as an Uber-driving, Upwork-gigging, fashion Instagram influencer

If this is you pick up your trophy now: You are a millennial! You weird, odd creature, ever elusive to media and brands. Every CEO hates you and wants to meet you at the same time.

Let’s go get brunch.


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